The Razor To The Rosary (Frerard fan fiction)
by TheObsessiveFanGirl
Summary: an asylum fan fiction. I do not want to ruin the story with this so yeh . please enjoy, feed back would be brilliant, thanks! x
1. Chapter 1

Gerard's P.O.V

I don't need to be here. I'm not meant to be here! I should be dead by now or in hospital at least. I wasn't lying. I DON'T lie. Ever. It bit me. Its fangs pierced my flesh and its tongue lapped up my blood. I can feel its venom course through my veins. I will become one of them and no one believes me to let me stop myself.

The door clanked open loudly on its rusted hinges and I grabbed my neck in an instant reflex. A doctor returned with another one. A needle. A cold sweat broke out on my face.

"Don't look so frightened Mr. Way, your all done, you can go. I assume group therapy should start soon, you should go to the cafeteria first while its still open. " The doctor smiled his fake plastic smile. I swallowed hard, nodded shakily and flew out the door as quick as I could without acquiring more unwanted attention. I felt to nauseous to eat now, but I have no where else to go in this sickening fake-happy place.

I took a tray and got in the queue , but quickly put it back and sat down at the last empty table empty handed. I gaze longingly john and the other workers with their morning coffee. How I miss my warm caffinated anti-drug. I don't deserve to be here. I'm not crazy. I wish they would just let me end this before it was too late. I'll never stop trying.  
" Gerard, good to see you're back out of the infirmary" Laura Ansel smiled sitting across from me. Oh god. Here we go again. " Haven't you eaten? Gerard you have to stop this skipping meals!" Her voice raised. Damn psychiatrist thinks she's god, I have a dietician too but Ansel is just the worst, at everything. I don't look at her eyes once, my eyes strangely fixated on her necklace. A cross. I feel myself stumble back slightly and stand. " Gerard you better be going to get something to eat." She raised an eyebrow.  
A bell rings, signalling the end of our eating time and the beginning of group therapy. I wince as Ansel takes my arm, her necklace swinging dangerously close to me before returning to her chest.  
"No getting out of this one Gerard" I've been known to try and hide from or sneak out of these meetings. I don't need them. I just need a pistol or a stake so I can end this madness now. I don't want this. I want to remove the venom and the only way is to die.  
I sit uncomfortably in an ugly blue plastic chair. Nobody sits beside me till the other seats are taken. I've been told once that I scare them. I don't care.  
" Well everyone its nice to see you all today" Ansel beamed. I rolled my eyes. It really isn't all that nice and she knows it. " We have a new addition to our circle today, come on in" she beckons to a guy I hadn't bothered to notice standing by the door. I don't bother with most people here. I don't have to.  
The boy steps forward out of the door way.  
My heart. It stopped beating. I can feel every pigment of colour drain from my already pale face.  
" No, don't do it!" I yell, my voice unsteady. I breathe every breath so deeply I squeeze my lungs too much, taking every ounce of air, and then drawing it all back in. Knocking over my chair and I scramble to the furthest corner of the room. I press my back up against the wall, gripping its cold flat surface with my shaky, sweating hands. I shudder uncontrollably and my mouth goes dry. I sense all eyes on me.  
The boy stands there, his hazel eyes wide and his raven hair almost standing on end. He bites his lip so hard he almost tears out the ring pierced into it. He falls back a few paces.  
I don't feel my legs as I fall, sliding down the wall and crossing my arms over my chest.  
"Gerard!?" Ansel's brown shoes patter over to where I'm curled up, breathing heavy, sweating and shivering in its icy chill. " Gerard what's wrong?"  
I look up for a brief moment. My throat constricts and I let out a strange gasp as the cross is the first thing I see. Its the only thing I see. Blackened crosses, every where. I shake my head frantically from one side to the other desperately. I have to unsee them. They are all I see everywhere. His face, crosses. His face crosses and blood.

I hear voices again but real ones this time. They mention ' anxiety disorder' and 'I don't know how to help him anymore' and another name that I dint catch.  
Soon enough they resuscitate me. I am lying in the infirmary again. I always am. Never usually such a brutal attack. It wasn't the first to put me here but it was the hardest to endure. Can't these people see the pain they force me through!? There's no knowing what will trigger my next phase. They should have ended me a long time ago. They should have let me end me a long time ago.  
The usual doctor stands over me accompanied by Ansel of course, but somehow her necklace was lost along the way. I lick my dry, cracked lips.  
" Let me go" I plead quietly. " Just let me die"  
" Don't worry Gerard, I'll save you if its the last thing I do" Ansel tried to comfort me, only making me feel worse. I don't deserve to be saved from this poison. I also don't deserve to live another day of this death.  
'You can't.' I say silently, losing my strength to talk. 'Not unless you let me go'


	2. Chapter 2

Franks P.O.V

I was taken to an office. The psychiatrists I presume. I don't know what I did but I feel like I'm in trouble already and I've just gotten here.

" Take a seat please Mr. Iero."The short haired woman from the circle came in closing the door behind her. I turned sharply as she had entered. " Sorry if I shocked you" she sat behind her desk. Beckoning for me to sit on the plush looking chair across from her. I shuffle over uncomfortably. For a moment she says nothing. Just looks at me as if trying to read my thoughts. She fails to do so. I'll never let anyone read my thoughts as easily as reading a children book. My thoughts are precious and my mind is a complex labyrinth.  
Her voice snaps me back to attention.  
"I'm sorry you had such an unpleasant welcome. I hope you can forgive Gerard for his out burst " she smiles weakly and I nod my reply. Gerard, he seems insane. As soon as I entered the room he cried out and ran. He sat for several minutes, arms across his chest coffin style rocking back and forth murmuring. Shaking his head and addressing something only he could see before passing out and being carried out of sight. Thinking about that unnerving turn of events ties my stomach in knots.  
"What happened to him?" My voice low and barely audible. For a moment I wanst sure if I'd said it our loud or just thought it.  
" I'm not really at liberty to discuss other peoples business but... There seems to be a connection of sorts between you." She speaks softly, comforting, although the topic of discussion is far from comforting.  
I raise an eyebrow slightly in question.  
"Have you met him before?" She asks. I shake my head. "You're sure you haven't?" I nod. " I see..." She frowns in thought. " Oh I'm so sorry I had forgotten one of your conditions for a moment. You have amnesia don't you?" She smiles apologetically. I fold my arms and avoid eye contact, offended. I don't have 'conditions'. I forgot some stuff and That's it. Everyone forgets sometimes.  
" I'm sorry, do you remember being diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder and bipolar disorder? " She asks. " I'm sorry Frank, please look at me" she pleads. I turn to glare at her but instead my eyes water pathetically. I nod and look at the ground. the carpet is blue and fluffy. I have an urge to stroke it. Sort of like how a little kid would crave a cuddle from a teddy bear.  
" Gerard thinks he see's things. Usually related to a certain thing but I can't really discus it. You could try to make friends with him." She prods. I let my head droop lower. " He doesn't have any friends, I think a friend would help you both "  
" He hates me! He took a panic attack when I came in!" I almost yell swinging my head up to look her in her beady little eyes. It doesn't last long, my eyes soon wander as I blink repeatedly to stop myself from looking a fool.  
" Yes and I haven't managed to figure that out yet. I don't know how it was triggered this time. " She tries to remain calm and peaceful.  
"I triggered it... Even some guy I don't know thinks I'm worth staying away from"  
My head droops again and I lean into my hands. Not allowing my latest psychiatrist to see my eyes.  
" Its all going to be fine Frank. I'm here to make sure of that alright? " She walked round and patted my left shoulder, looking reassuring. But also looking down at me. I don't want pity. I just want someone to... To just be there. I know psychiatrist don't just be there. They interfere and then make me leave when all hell breaks loose and they give up.

I talk to Laura Ansel for a while longer. Mostly just crying into my hands and hoping that not too many salty demons slip through my fingers. Eventually I'm shown to a room in the newer part of the building and am told that there's dinner in 2 hours and if I want to take part in anything before then I can find the schedule on a white board in the canteen. I don't really want to socialise after what happened so I sit in the middle of my room, quietly watching the clouds dance by through the ceiling window. Wondering why I did not have help from him this time.

I wake later to the sound of a bell. I'm sitting in the middle of a grey room, 2 single beds, ceiling window. I don't remember getting here. Presumably the bell is summoning me to dinner. Although I don't remember that.  
" What's the last thing you remember?"  
"Um... Getting to an office and.. That's about it." I reply rubbing my eyes as I stand weakly.  
" Do you remember just before?"  
"Somehow yes." I nod. I tend to forget all the important stuff. Sometimes he can remind me though.  
"I should have helped."  
"You did. You always do" I stretch out my arms and head for the door.  
" Don't ever forget me okay. Ever." He sounded very serious. It was a little unsettling. I twist the handle to exit the room.  
" I won't."  
"Promise!"  
"I- I promise! Geez..."

Gerard's P.O.V

I've Finally been released from the infirmary although I'm meant to go back later, which I won't. Not until someone with authority notices and drags me back.  
I sit at the empty table. The one by the window this time. I don't go to the queue. I'm not hungry and the line's too long. They'll make me eat soon and I'll need to if I might need to fend of an attack from one of them. I hate it though. I've tried to escape many times. I've tried running away, climbing over fences, jumping out windows and most importantly suicide. I have contemplated it many times and after a few failed attempts including 'death by plastic knife' when I was desperate enough to try to slit my own throat, I'm under constant surveillance.  
They are subtle so they think I don't notice but I know they're there. They know there's a reason I haven't tried anything lately.  
They probably think I'm improving. I can't improve anything because I'm not crazy. They are. They're coming to try to seal the bond and complete my transformation. if these people were sane I'd be dead.

"Can... Uh..." A boys voice mutters quietly from behind me. From the pain in my chest I know who it is.  
" Can I sit here?" He says, suddenly alive and cheerful. Before I could tell him to leave he sits across from me.  
"I'm Frank by the way." He smiles holding out a hand in greeting. I move two seats along, uncomfortable with the feeling in my chest and the poison crying out to my nervous system as it rips through my veins. I clutch a hand to my heart and try to act like I'm okay, despite the harsh breathing. Suppress it. I just have to find a way to suppress it.  
" Aren't you going to eat?" He asks playing with the food on his tray, ignoring my less than polite gesture. I shake my head.  
" Oh... Do you always sit alone?" What is this, twenty questions. I nod and shoot him an irritated look that says 'no more.'  
Obediently he looks back to his food. Rabbit food. All salad and stuff.  
He looks up at me for a moment and I almost melt into his beautiful eyes. For a brief moment a wave of relief washed over me and the pain was gone. He turned away and I saw his earring. The pain hit me like a tidal wave now. The blasted crucifix flashed before my eyes, dripping with blood. It replaced other items in my vision with more and more of them every time I blink. I gasp and force myself to stand, headed out of the cafeteria in my desperate attempts to get away from the part of them that exists within my blood. The blood they so desperately crave.

Frank's P.O.V

I watch him stand on his twig-like shaky legs and retreat away from what was and surely still is his table. He still hadn't eaten. Why would he leave dinner without eating? Maybe he's one of the eating disorder kids but, they're all made to sit together with the main dietician... I think its the dietician anyway. I watch silently in wonder as he tries to leave but if forced back to the queue with an associate from the staff by the door. His neck will swing around to one side or the other from time to time. Neck spasms with no warning and no apology.  
I catch his eyes darting to the seat across from me every ten or so seconds until finally he sits as far away from me as he can whilst remaining at this table.  
A sudden feeling of weariness cascades over me. I manage to finish my final mouthful of salad before I drop my fork on the tray.  
Leaning my head in my hands and my elbows on the table, I wait for the room to stop spinning. I hate when rooms do that, don't they know there are people here too? If they must do that they should do so when they are empty. Rooms are rather rude though so they wouldn't stay still that long.  
"What was that all about?" I mumble grumpily.  
" Don't you pay attention to anything?! I talked to that guy and he got all weird and walked off again."  
" Yeh, I vaguely remember..." I frown trying hard to put truth behind my words.  
" Right, of course you do" he snorts at me.  
" If you aren't here to help then leave"  
" idiot! Don't you get it? I AM helping. That's all I do!" He scoffs.  
" Sorry, your right." I swallow hard.  
"... You really suck with emotions you know that." He sighs impatiently. "You know I'll still help you but start paying attention. I don't want you to even consider forgetting what I'm doing for you."  
"You know I won't! But... If you could just... Let me talk to him... Alone?" I get quieter as I hear myself say the words.  
"Traitor." He spits.  
"No ! No its not like that! I don't want you to leave I just..." I bite my tongue releasing my arrogance. He always helps me, I can't abandon him.  
"Fine but you know I'll help you when you need me, like it or not."  
" I know."

Gerard's P.O.V

I see a flash of silver in the corner of my eye. I try not to, but I can't help but take a look. As soon as I turn I'm greeted by short black hair, shining eyes and a hopeful smile.  
I feel the heavy weight lift from my chest and I breathe. Just breathe normally, nothing traumatic. I look at the seat I sat in before and turn my eyes away quickly. I shield my eyes with my hair for a moment. When I'm certain I have not been affected this time I peek out through thin strands of black that make up my hair. I am glad I haven't been affected again. I have only ever managed to stay awake if its twice or less in one day. It wouldn't be the first time I've slipped into a coma because nobody would let me, just, die.  
This curse they put upon me, it gets worse every day, every hour.  
"Thanks." I say. Clearly, too clearly. I don't talk clearly to people. I mumble and I mutter under my breath. At first I don't even know why I said it but somehow it does seem relevant and necessary.  
"Oh...um... Anytime..." He says, although I doubt he really knows what's going on. Of course he doesn't. He wouldn't believe me anyway and I wouldn't care. Something inside tells me that's a lie, that I might really care about this boy's thoughts now. Reason is annoyingly unknown. He looks awkward again. He's been that way since his conversation with... Well with himself. Part of me didn't want to believe he was mad. It made me feel better about being here not being crazy either. The majority of me however, knew he was here for a not so divine reason.  
I could feel Frank look at me. I could sense it. I diverted my eyes to my tray of gloop that was once considered food. Sickened by it, I get up to leave and empty the remains of my tray in the trash. I hear footsteps follow me. I don't dare turn. Its either Ray or Frank. I'll know soon enough. Most likely Frank. He is a newbie after all. He probably still doesn't know how it works here. I stuff my hands in the pockets of my black skinny jeans. Its rare for me to be trusted enough to wear my own clothes. I can't blame them for confiscating them when I tried to tie a noose from them.  
"Gerard! Hey, Gerard!" Oh Crap. Its not Frank. "Gerard what happened earlier? You went like, crazy" there's that word again, crazy.  
" Not now ray." I muttered, hostile as I usually am.  
" But Gerard we haven't talked in ages!"  
I wonder why that could be. Definitely not because I keep blowing him off, no, no, nothing like that. He's just so... Chipper. Incessantly, increasingly, annoyingly chipper. Its like he has the mind set of a pre-school kid. He doesn't understand big words, he can't be trusted in a kitchen, he has no manners, no sense of the direction and he accidentally hurts himself, a lot. His 'fro bouncing around as he runs doesn't help me see him as an adult.  
" Gerard!" He yells. I stop and I can sense the anticipation in his puppy dog eyes.  
"Ugh, what!?" I turn sharply frowning so much I'm surprised my face hasn't imploded from the pressure.  
"...you're scary sometimes Gerard. You should stop that." He says as timid and inferior as a toddler would act this situation.  
" Bye Ray." I walk speedily away. Did I mention he has the attention span of a gold fish? By now he is chasing an imaginary, sparkly butterfly in the opposite direction.

Frank's P.O.V.

After a while of crunching lettuce in a deathly silence, I decide I could see what's next on the agenda and familiarise myself with rules.  
I literally read ' rules, 1. -' then move on. I guess that counts right?  
" It really doesn't."  
"I know that, you know I know that."  
"True"  
I sigh softly and head towards a door. 'Outside time' ...yay. I don't go out. I crouch by the door, out of light and out of sight. I watch through the gap between the door and the wall where the hinges are. I watch some guy with curly hair that bounces as he runs and some slightly less enthusiastic ginger guy kicking a ball around. That is literally the most interesting thing happening right now. Don't get me wrong, that's a good thing.  
" Oh really?"  
"Yes, really, I've had a busy enough day thanks"  
" Watch you're tongue, remember you're still not quite in my good books."  
" Yeh, I know" I sigh pathetically. " Last thing I need now is another encounter with him. He doesn't seem to be around at least, suppose that's a plus."  
"That's what you think."  
"What, you disagree?"  
"Yes."  
"Why's that?" I frown, genuinely curious.  
" Because he is around here somewhere, we just haven't found him yet-"  
"But that's the point" I cut him off. He frowns and I nod apologetically for him to finnish.  
" I know you're curious."  
"Am not."  
" Like I said, I KNOW you are." I shrug him off and stare through the gap again, frowning at air as if its existence is insulting me. I am not curious and I do not want to talk to Gerard the mad man.  
"But just because he is here, don't think this time will be any different. It will happen again in time. You know it will, hey don't turn away, don't fight it...don't fight it" he whispers the last part over and over as if to hypnotise me.  
It won't work. I won't let it happen again. I can't.  
"Don't fight it...don't fight it..."  
I clamp my hands over my ears frustrated and secretly scared. An icy shiver runs the length of my spine. I have to fight it, why doesn't he understand!?

Gerard's P.O.V

I ignore the schedule as I often do and sit on my bed in my room. The doors magnetically locked behind me, I can't re-open it from the inside. They will notice I'm missing again soon. Its expected after all, I'm always heading off somewhere just to be dragged back.

I think about the new kid, Frank. Looks to be a couple years younger than me. His eyes have a strangely calming effect on me. I wonder why how he knew to take off his earring. I'm hoping he just saw me look at it, not that he knows my weakness. Or one of them. My strengths are low and my weaknesses are many.  
I cross my legs and fold my arms, staring intensely at the nothingness. Assuming my regular thinking position and subconsciously raking my hand through my hair every once and a while.  
I start to hum a tune as I often do. I can't draw in here, I don't have the privilege of a pencil. Singing is my only escape.  
"But if you sing these words you'll never die" nobody ever hears me sing. Either that or they pretend not to. I'm not trusted enough to have a room mate or any visitors. No body will visit anyway. There's nobody left.  
"Well the good guys die and the bad guys win!" I pace around, half singing half screaming in frustration at the world.  
"You can live forever if you've got the time" I don't have time, I don't want to live forever. I need to drop off the edge of the earth and soon.  
" Save yourself and I'll hold them back tonight" singing to nothing in particular now at this point. I guess I don't want anyone else to suffer my pain. I want this to end with me.

The asylum officials force fed me again at dinner, that's when they noticed I had been missing. After the horror of 'T.V time' and several other things that don't bear worth of mentioning, I sulk back to my room, sitting upright in my bed. I don't care much for socialising, least of all today. I don't really want another run in with Frank, the new guy that argues with himself. Although I am drawn to those smiling eyes. After all I snapped out of my trance at the sight of his hopeful glance. Something about the way he looks at me, it counter-acted my new beastly impulses. Its like he's coffee to my tiredness. Its bad because there's too much caffeine but it makes you feel better for a moment. Of course Franks eyes contain no caffeine but I think my point is made.  
I run my shaky fingers along the white and pink lines that are strewn across my wrists. It actually helped me deal with things before the event happened. I had to stop though. After the event I can't be around blood. I wish I had my trusty razor and no hesitation again. It would stop my hand shaking. It would let my now toxic blood flow out, taking my problems with it. I can't do anything now. I want to slit my wrists enough that I'll loose enough poison blood to die. It won't happen though. If I'm going to die now I need to do it without a single drop of bloodshed. Otherwise I won't die. The beastly cells will awaken and they'll find me, turn me.  
I lie awake as I do every night. I rarely sleep. I know every little sound. The creak of each door in a certain order after lights out. But wait. Wait. No that's not right. There was an extra creak tonight, too close. It has to be right through this wall next to me. The rooms on either side of mine were kept vacant. It was best like that so nobody would hear me. The other rooms must be full. That can only mean one thing. Frank is right next door.


	3. Chapter 3

Frank's P.O.V.

The sudden light from the roof window stings my eyes and I face plant back into my pillow. I was so hoping that my dream was real for once. I didn't have a nightmare that's so bad its then classified as night terror. I actually had a nice dream.  
There was blue skies and lush green grass, butterflies fluttering around left,right and centre. There was trees with colourful fruits dotted over the plain. I was running, and running and my hair was whipped out of my face by the wind. Tropical birds cooed wondrous tunes and finally I stopped running, on a cliff top over looking a sparkling ocean.  
Then I woke to this. To the room where green mould clings to the corners of the roof, the only light is horrifically blinding. No colourful critters to welcome me, just the fat pigeon in its nest near the high window and the slimy worms it caught, trying to escape their doom. I feel sorry for those wriggling little bastards.  
I pull on fresh clothes and stretch my arms, at least I still get fed first thing in the mornings. That's the only good thing about this place, free food. The bulk of it is often 'mystery meat', the 'classic yesterday's leftovers' and mashed up substances resembling wild boar eyes. Thank god they have fresh vegetables at least.  
The magnetic locks are off at this time, I shove open the door with an unrealistically loud creak. That's when I notice my neighbour simultaneously did the same. I step forward to see and another pair of hazel eyes meet my gaze. Our eyes lock for a moment, till Gerard's eyes flicker away. I immediately look away too.  
" Morning " I yawn, trying to be casual. He looks at me again, a piercing glare straight into my soul. Like he can see my thoughts reflect off my pupils.  
He nods with a bit of a frown. A rather confusing reply to me. I follow as he walks along the corridor. I can't remember where I'm going anyway. Every institution looks the same. White painful-to-look-at walls and tiled ceilings.  
My eyes scan Gerard without my brain saying to. I watch how his ebony hair sways gently as he walks. How he walks, his jeans, they're pretty tight...  
I bite at my lip ring and force myself to look elsewhere. A teeny bit of me doesn't want to.  
Gerard stops suddenly. Turning to look deep into my eyes again. I feel my cheeks go hot. He's reading my mind again, he knows what I just did. I swallow hard, my heart sounds loud enough for him to hear. I smile awkwardly but the guilt quickly makes it vanish.  
Out of nowhere his own cheeks go flushed and he drops his accusing gaze, walking on again. I think I might have seen a hint of a smirk.

Gerard's P.O.V.

I get a bowl of cornflakes that I won't finish and park myself at the empty table. Knowing I'm being followed I try to clear my mind, hoping it will clear my face of blush.  
"Can I sit?" Well I hope so, if not then you're going to have to stand forever. Nonetheless I nod, knowing he meant sit at this table with me.  
"Thanks" Frank says, a certain uncertainty in his voice.  
I try to make all the cornflakes stay under the milky surface but even a brain dead sloth could tell its impossible. I instead attempt to turn the whole thing into a big congealed blob. I start smooshing flakes together while somehow a conversation appears.  
"You don't eat much do you?" Frank is desperately trying to defuse the tension. I think it would be too cruel to make him suffer. I couldn't be cruel to those lovely features while I have the choice.  
"No, I don't" I look over to his bowl, same cereal as mine. His has less though, he actually ate some.  
"Don't you get hungry?"  
"Not really" I wrinkle my nose slightly. Regular food will never be able to make me content again.  
"Oh..." He frowns. Probably searching for an appropriate reply. "I'm a vegetarian." He says at last.  
"I'm not. I'm really not." I sigh quietly.  
My cereal is reduced to slop, just how I like it. I bask momentarily in my success.  
A tiny giggling sound reaches my ears and I frown at its creator.  
"Sorry...its not everyday you see a ball of squished cornflakes." Frank's lips fall back into a down turned shape.  
"Fair enough" I force my frown away with a smile. His lips twitch back up, a crooked genuine smile. Then I'm smiling. Not on command but just smiling. Someone has finally done it, dragged a real smile from some dark place inside me and helped it resurface.  
"Good to see you have a friend Gerard." A woman's voice says from behind me.  
I pull a disaproving face and Franks smile widens to a grin.  
Ansel taps my shoulder.  
"I need to see you in my office when your finished."  
I groan. She takes her leave and I can just see her ridiculous smile without even seeing her face. Makes me want to spit and/or puke on my cereal blob. I wouldn't want to ruin my masterpiece of course. I swallow hard and look back to Frank. His cute little laugh washes the icky feeling away. Its not only healing but contagious.  
"WOOOOOAAAAH!" Ray yells running over behind Frank. "You're laughing Gerard! I've never seen you laugh before!" He exclaims excitedly. "Aww, you've stopped being happy..." He pouts as my smile fades again.  
Frank looks a little baffled. I'm sure he has some good questions. Who the hell is the 'fro guy? You don't laugh? Why? What's up with this dude!?  
All perfectly valid questions, the final one I don't have a definite exact answer too.  
An unfriendly hand grips Rays arm dragging him back to another table. His blue eyes and flaming hair identifies him as Bob, the depressed guy. He doesn't talk much. He won't unless he thinks its important enough. He got here just before me apparently, I think he's suicidal too. Ray's cheerfulness and Bob's sadness seem to cancel each other out. I'm thankful that they stick together, it makes most other peoples lives easier.  
Frank gives me one last crooked smile as if to coax me into copying. I dump the corn-sludge into the trash and head to Ansel's, leaving Frank in the cafeteria to mingle.

The door of the office is wooden instead of metal, a nice change. She invites me in and I sit on a comfy chair while she explains the situation. I was busy counting the lines of thread on the seat cushion when her use of the word "Frank" snapped me to attention. My look shows my sudden interest and that I hadn't been listening. She stops for a moment with a silly smile.  
"Like I was saying, Frank appears to have got you, not only smiling but laughing." She muses. "I wonder how he managed such a task on his second day." She raises a thoughtful eyebrow. " That's partially why I wanted to see you." Wanted as in past tense? Can I go now? I sadly doubt it so don't bother asking aloud.  
"I want you to help Frank settle in here. You've clearly gotten past your first encounter, I think it would be good for you to show him around." She looks at me in a way that means 'its an order, I'm just playing nice'.  
I grunt in displeasure, turning away. I don't want to be his tour guide.  
"I might return a certain privilege if I think your getting better from this." She attempts to bribe me again.  
I'll have to play along though, that way I might have another opportunity to kick the bucket. I face her to show I'm listening again.  
"You haven't been allowed a visitor for over a year." She states sadly. " But" her face brightens. " If you do what you're told I might just be able to let a certain couple of people come to see you."  
"Who..." I frown. There's nobody left.  
"I think you know who Gerard. They have been very worried. In fact your brother has been trying to see you since you got here."  
"I don't have a brother." I glare into her little hawk eyes. She looks startled.  
"Of course you do Gerard" she says quickly.  
"He's gone. They're all gone." I frown. I stand to leave before her hand on my arm tries to stop me.  
"Gerard, don't do this to yourself. Let me help you." She exclaims desperately.  
"What is it you think happened to everyone?" She asks in a hushed tone as if we are exchanging valuable secrets.  
"I don't think, I know. They're gone!" I almost shout.  
"Gerard please sit back down and you can tell me all about it" she tries to be soothing but I can hear the anxiety in her voice.  
"I have nothing else to say" I swing the door open and close it hurriedly behind me.  
I bite my lip and my breath quickens. I feel all uneasy and my eyes are threatening to spurt out tears.  
I know what happened. The men in white coats brought me here. They pulled me away from my family when they needed me. The beasts in human form attacked them. I tried to save them. I really did.  
The coat people hauled me away while the beasts got my family.  
My mother lay dying on the couch, punctures deep in her neck. My father was at the far side by the big window, his blood dripping down it.  
My brother. My little brother. He was in a shaky crumpled heap in the centre of the carpet. The holes in his neck were bleeding still. Whatever blood was left he was coughing up violently. His beaten body lay there helplessly and by the time the coats got me out of the house he had to be dead.  
I had been bitten too of course but I had survived with minor injuries. That's only on the surface. The venom they carry runs in me. Now because I survived if they get another taste of my blood...or if I can't take it and indulge in someone else's...I'll become a beast like them. A monster. A shadowy creature of twilight.

Frank's P.O.V.

I have no idea where I'm going. Everything looks the same. Have I been down this corridor already? Probably.  
Turning another corner I realise I most certainly haven't been here recently. A wooden door and a figure slumped against a wall a few paces further.  
Lanky, dark hair, tight jeans. Its Gerard.  
I automatically start to walk over.  
"Bad idea. Just go back."  
"Shhhh!" I whisper as loud as I dare.  
"Your such a glutton for punishment."  
"Shhhhhhhhhh!" I snap back.  
Gerard looks up revealing puffy cheeks and bleary, tearful eyes.  
"Gerard?" I say softly.  
He swipes a hand over his face brushing away tears that cascade back in seconds.  
Shakily, he gets to his feet and starts to walk backwards, away from me.  
"Are you o-" I start to ask him.  
"NO! I'M NOT OKAY!" He cries out. Its clear it was meant to be angry but I only see his pain. My own heart aches at the sight of his distraught cries.  
For a brief moment my mind goes blank.

I think that's when he must have taken over. I sit on an ugly blue chair at 'T.V time' knowing Gerard won't show up. I groan, head in hands again.  
"I told you, I'd be there when you need me like it or not." He frowns at my inner turmoil.  
"What did I need you for this time?" I ask.  
"Its obvious."  
"It really isn't." I sigh, rubbing my temples where my headache still hasn't disappeared from yet.  
"You were about to go all soppy and pathetic" he groans. "You have no backbone in important situations. Maybe if you hadn't started the wobbly lower lip and the teary eyes yourself I would have let you do that one alone."  
"That's what I asked you to do." I sigh exasperated. "What did you do instead?"  
"I couldn't let you make it worse." He explains, also exasperated. " I held my ground and he ran off."  
"I wouldn't have made it worse!"  
"You would have." He trails off. "Sorry Frank."

A chair scrapes across the floor next to me. I wince at the terrible sound. It sparks my headache back into action again.  
"Pretend you never seen me earlier." His voice is steady. Not steady as in calm but steady as in... Assertive. A look into his eyes shows they still lack their sparkle.  
I nod.  
"If that's what you want." I bite my lip ring again. It won't be hard really. I'm good at forgetting. I don't want to forget anything about Gerard though.  
"Thanks Frankie." He says while he sits.  
I can't see myself but I know my face resembles that of a fish. Frankie?! Where the hell did that come from?! He has the same sort of expression. I think he is wondering the same thing.  
A whisper in my ear at the other side tells me to say something. To say exactly what I'm thinking at this moment. I chew on my lip nervously as I inevitably do.  
"Anytime Gee." I swallow hard and hope that he isn't looking into my thoughts again. His hazel eyes twinkle as he smiles once again.  
"Your welcome!" The voice exclaims. I'll be sure to thank him later. He didn't take over, he just helped. I'm glad. I wouldn't want to forget this. I also don't plan on forgetting seeing him earlier, I want to find out what happened. Best way to do that, I figure, is carry on as I would if didn't remember.  
We retreat to group therapy after the usual series of terrible T.V shows. This week someone on coronation street died and spider man saved his girlfriend...again.  
Dr. Ansel greeted us cheerfully and we arranged our seats in a circle. I bet she doesn't really want to see us. She sits next to me and Gerard sits on the other side. He seemed to have intended to sit elsewhere but after a raised eyebrow from Dr. Ansel He changed his course. By now I'm probably raising an eyebrow at Dr. Ansel in a silent enquiry as to what's going on with those two.  
"Hello everyone!" She beams. There's a mumbled chorus of hi's and hello's.  
"We seem tired today" she sighs lightly.  
"Well, Frank would you like to start us off and tell us how your day has been?" She turns to look at me. Everyone else copies, except Gerard who continues his staring contest with the floor.  
"Its...fine?" I don't really know what she expects me to say.  
"Now you're fairly new to Springwood, are you settling in well?"  
"its just the same as every other time." I shrug. They keep transferring me. I've been to 3 different asylums and they all treat the new guys the same.  
"Oh, I see, is that a bad thing for you? Everything being the same?" This woman is quite persistent. She keeps prodding for more answers. Like rubbing salt in an open wound.  
"I guess change would be nice." And by that I really mean, let me out to go home please but that's not happening. At least not now.  
"Alright then, maybe we should all have a think about what we would like to change about where we are." She addresses the rest of the circle. A weight lifts of my shoulders as she talks to someone besides me. Its like ice cream on an open wound now, it soothes.  
"We don't celebrate events much." Ray sighs. "Like Christmas and Halloween!"  
Halloween. That's next week. I forgot all about it.  
"maybe this year we could make decorations for Halloween How does that sound?" Most people give an approving nod or grin. Ansel beams back at them. "Great! Now continuing with our circle, is there anything else you'd like to add Frank? "  
I shake my head.  
"Okay, how about you Gerard, any thoughts to share?" He doesn't even look up. He just sits, staring at the floor, picking at his jeans.  
"How about you bob?"  
More silence and lack of acknowledgement is earned by her.  
"Alicia?"  
This girl a few seats along replies, everyone else after her does too.  
I don't listen for much longer. I catch a bit about a monkey from Alicia then I just loose interest.  
Instead I think of what Halloween will entail this year. Will it be better now that I might have a friend here? Doubtful. He's kind of a forced friend by the look Dr. Ansel gave him to make him sit with me. I wonder if anyone knows what Halloween is to me. Dr. Ansel might but nobody else should. I could make it seem like any other day, but I say that now and things are far easier said than done.

Gerard's P.O.V

"Frank."  
"Yeh?"  
"How come you don't go outside?"  
"Um... I don't know really. I guess I don't go because... Well you don't either and I don't know anyone else."  
"Oh."  
"What about you?"  
"I can't."  
"Why's that?"  
"Just can't."  
"Okay."  
Its outside time but we stay in the corridor, at the wall between our rooms. I like that he doesn't ask to many questions when I give short answers. I like talking to him. Having company help me forget how hard I'm trying to die sometimes. Although I can't loose focus. If I find a good enough chance I'm taking it.  
"Gerard." He nudges me. I look into his eyes that I can describe only as pretty.  
He swallows hard and looks away. Was I staring? I hope I wasn't.  
"Is Dr. Ansel making you talk to me?" He asks. Oh no. Have I not been friendly? How does one be friendly anyway?  
Damn it Gerard don't lie to him, I won't, Gerard Arthur Way does not lie. I end up not answering.  
"She is huh." He sighs sadly.  
"I didn't say that!" I didn't!  
"Its okay, they do it in most places."  
"She isn't making me speak to you right now." That's true right? She just wanted me to help him settle here which I hadn't wanted to do but I'm sitting here talking to him now. Voluntarily.  
"I guess your right." He smiles back at me. "Sorry." I nod my reply.  
We make small talk for quite some time before a pair of orderlies find us and send us back to where everyone else is.  
By the time we sulk back there its time for showers anyway.  
Its not properly enclosed so I tend to wait till last to go in. I don't particularly enjoy the image of other men seeing me naked. Especially because they're insane. And because I'm maybe a little too self concious.  
A member of staff, Julia, tries to herd us in as soon as there's space but I refuse. Frank copies me when he's unsure. Like now for instance.  
We're the last ones left so I go in. Frank almost follows. I stop and turn to face him.  
"Oh... Sorry, she's making me come in too, not long till dinner so no time for me to wait till your done apparently" his cheeks change to darker shades of pink.  
I , Uh, no. No no, no no. I cannot shower with Frank its not right. He doesn't seem to mind showering with other guys but I do. I walk to the far side and stand there. I don't shower myself right now. I tell myself I'm being silly but I can't help it. I stand at the furthest shower from the door, in my clothes, waiting for Frank to leave its no secret someone usually watches me when I'm in here to make sure I don't drown myself but its not quite the same. If I started trying to drown myself now, they wouldn't know would they? Frank is busy so he shouldn't notice.  
I hear the other shower turn on and my heart leaps into my throat. Don't turn around, don't turn around, do not turn around.  
I turned around.  
I turn back quickly. I'm such a sinful human being. He was facing at a 3/4 angle, almost to me. And I saw something unexpected, a tattoo. He's younger than me, he already has piercings and a tattoo.  
Oh if I wasn't afraid of needles I'd have overdosed in something lethal by now. And maybe I'd have a piercing or tattoo as well, who knows.

After sometime the shower drips and stops. I hear some rustling and his voice before he leaves. I was too focused on the tiles to hear the words but it was probably something to do with me still standing here in my clothes.  
Now I'm sure I'm alone I wash, or mostly just let the water run over me.  
I could do it couldn't I? Drown myself right now. I'm alone now after all. I might not be now though since Frank's gone. There's probably an orderly around, creepily watching me and claiming that they take no personal pleasure from it.  
I wonder if I could make Frank understand my situation. Maybe he can help me get out of it.

I think about confronting him during dinner and I know that I should be focused on strictly business and the task at hand but I guess if I allow myself to befriend him more first then I can make him understand better. Maybe not.  
I end up sticking with the staying friendly theory.

Frank's P.O.V.

Its pretty obvious Gerard still doesn't want to be near me. I bet Dr. Ansel is forcing him to make nice. Some moments I've believed him. Like when he said that she hadn't made him talk to me right then in the corridor. Then he acts all weird again and won't speak to me.  
He really is insane.  
I can't sleep tonight I shuffle uncomfortably. I think its because I know there's only 6 more days to halloween. Maybe its also because I know Gerard is next door.  
Only 5 days now. Its defiantly past midnight.  
For a moment I almost dozed off when I heard a mumbling voice. It wasn't the usual voice. In fact I think its from next door. I creak my way across the floor and press my ear to the wall.  
"...we can live forever if you've got the time... Nanananana...save yourself tonight."  
Gerard's room, that's coming from Gerard's room.  
"...you know we're keepin' this place alive, but if you sing these words you'll never die..."  
He can sing? Well clearly but, I had no idea he had such talent. I wonder if he knows I can hear him. I wonder exactly what he's singing about. I wonder why he's singing, in a mental institution, alone, in the middle of the night.  
Well, he seems to think something's after him and most of his plausible privileges have been revoked. I wonder what that's about too.  
I want to keep listening to his voice but when I move to sit I whack my knee off the wall making a terrible thud.  
Then he stops. His voice is gone. He knows I've heard and he thinks I was trying to shut him up.  
No way I'm sleeping tonight now.  
I sit leaning against the wall, ignoring my throbbing knee and straining my senses just hoping I hear his voice.  
My whole body is experiencing painful cramps, I must have been here a long time.  
"Gerard" I whisper. Then I say it again. Like actual say and not whisper.  
"Can you hear me? Please tell me you can hear me Gee."  
"Frank?"  
"Yes?" I hold my breath.  
"Frank, your going mental. Its me."  
"Oh... I thought you might have been Gerard, you don't sound alike but I-"  
"Was desperate, I know."  
I frown. Hate it when he cuts me off.  
"Was not."  
"Oh come on, you think I don't notice anything? Gods sake Frank you practically have a crush on this guy... Oh god you do have a crush on this guy!"  
"Do not, I barely know him"  
"Yeh, and your in a bloody asylum!"  
"Well...yeh...hahah...yeh i-i am aren't I..."  
"I'm sorry frank, you just gotta keep on going."  
"Why?"  
"Why what?"  
"Why do I have to?"  
"You just do alright? Now go to sleep already! He'll sing again tomorrow or something anyway."  
He's right, he's right. I don't move back to my bed though, just in case I hear him. i don't. I don't hear him at all, no matter how long i force myself to stay awake and listen each night.


End file.
